Dealing with Nasty People…An ADD & ADHD Perspective

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I have been working very hard at trying to go more with the flow and being less up-tight. Today testing my limits and I am proud of the way I handled a potentially dangerous situation. For those of you that have ADD and ADHD or have a loved one that has it, you know that sometimes we let our emotions control our mouths and actions.

I went to my son’s school for his last day. The teacher told me to come in the morning. I showed up and the secretary gave me the third degree then decided to ask the teacher if it was OK for me to be at the school. The secretary came back and rudely told me that I was supposed to come back an hour later (mind you I moved my whole morning around to be at the school and the teacher didn’t indicate a specific time). When I asked if was OK for me just to go say hello to my son, she shot back in a snotty tone with a chuckle…come back when you are supposed to be here.

It took every ounce of strength not to explode at this woman. As one professional told me, when it comes to your family, all bets are off. You’re likely to act much more than you think. Being ADHD and impulsive, it is quite a challenge not to have given her a piece of my mind.

But, I am very proud. I took that second I advise my clients about to pause the moment before reacting. There is no reason to immediately react. After thinking it through, I said, OK and I walked away. It was a proud moment. My lack of pausing has gotten me into situations in the past. In my son’s old day care, the director told me that I was belligerent to the staff. It wasn’t my intention, but how your respond to a situation can make a mountain out of a molehill. When family is involved, we all want to do the right thing. But sometimes, our actions can make the situation ugly.

So here is my lesson…when that person is nasty to you, take a step back and weigh how a nasty reaction will be interpreted. Is it really worth the drama? In most cases, being the bigger person will get you much further in life.

For more information on my ADD, ADHD and Executive Functioning coaching, please visit www.adhdcoachchicago.com. To learn more information about some of the other services I provide, please visit www.carrolleducationalgroup.com and www.iepexperts.com. I can be found on Twitter at ADHDEFCoach. You can also find me on Facebook and Tumblr. My good friend and fellow ADD/ADHD Coach Tara McGillicuddy invites me as a regular guest on ADD/ADHD Support Talk Radio. Tara does many wonderful things and you should check out her website here. Feel free to email me at jonathan@adhdefcoach.com or call 773.888.ADHD (2343) with any additional questions.

Comments

  1. A dear friend of mine called situations like that, coping with powerless people in powerful positions. It helps for me to keep that in mind when faced with similar events.

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